I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
