Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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