First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
