Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
