Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
