If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
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He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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