how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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