whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
