after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
