I'd wear matching sweaters with you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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