So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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