did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
