he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
