So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
