i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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