I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
