I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
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I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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