check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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