3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
what the fuck happened to the tacos
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
