Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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