The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
