I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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