all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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