It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
