I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
