i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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