He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How naked do you want me to be?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
