I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
