So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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