P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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