I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
