singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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