I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
