that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can you bring me the toilet please
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
