Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
