Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
