I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
