he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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