If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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