She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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