We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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