i love accidental penises.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
