Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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