this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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