I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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