im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
