oh god the rape fog is back!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
