from now on my penis is your penis
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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