I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Still dying that you shit outside
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
