You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
