you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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