I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
