life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize