When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
