Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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