Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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