It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I will pee on everything he values.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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