It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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