I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize