:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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