I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
