Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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