it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
