I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
