imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
